and so it goes

Emergency Week is turning into Emergency Month: my oldest, who is normally not allowed on the laptop, was playing around in Word last night (she loves to type letters) did something or other and infected it with multiple, annoying viruses. So it's visting the computer geeks and I am typing this on the baby computer (which I love, but has a much smaller keyboard). At least the word is that it can be fixed And the other dog suddenly has a bad limp to go along with the return of her skin problems, so a vet visit is in her future (at least it will not be in the middle of the night). And we are dealing with multiple weird computer problems at work. And...that might be it for right now. Or maybe something else is lurking out there...we will find out soon enough.

On a much happier note, a wonderful family whose blog I follow and who have been the most faithful commenters on this blog (thanks, Aus) is on a plane right now to go meet their new son, Chase, in China. Like all adoptions, it's been a long haul, but they will be holding him in their arms in just a few days. We are so excited for them!

I love our beach house, I really do

and we are so very lucky to have it, but the last two times we have been there we were met with leaky pipes which led to emergency plumber visits which led to writing large checks. The last time we went there, a rodent of some type had gotten under the house and chewed on the plastic pipes (though they don't look all that tasty). So we arrived to a hissing sound coming out of the bathtub drain and damp carpet. We got that fixed and thought we would be okay when we turned off the water and drained the pipes when we left.

This did not protect us from the recent hard freeze (a very rare thing over there) and when Charlie and the kids got to the house last night (I drove separately from work), the minute he turned on the water, it started pouring out of places it shouldn't. Luckily our friends Lynn and Doug were at their house and let us stay in their guest apartment after plying us with spaghetti and wine.

Our Geno's Plumbing friend from last time came this afternoon and found that we have several pipes that need to be replaced and since it was at Saturday rates, suggested they come back during the week and do the work. Apparently they've been totally swamped helping people with similar problems since the freeze.

Geno's Plumbing is fairly unique because (a) they show up around the time they say they will, (b) they recommended something that would save us a little money and (c) they actually answer their phone. If you've ever tried to get home repairs done in our beach community you would know how rare this is.

So we left our spare keys with the lady at the bookstore next door and came home. This week started with a $400 midnight visit to the emergency vet with a barfing and shaking dog,(she seems to be fine now)I am hoping we are done with emergencies for a while.

Charlie and I have never been big on celebrating New Year's Eve. We do have fond memories of 1999-2000, sitting in a favorite restaurant with our friends Mike and Laura. The place was nearly empty, which was sad for the staff since they had prepared for a lot of people, who apparently had stayed at home to wait for the world to end. We normally spend a quiet evening at home as we don't want to be out and about with partying people on the road. This year was no different. The kids were out by 10 or so and Charlie and I were still awake to hear to the fireworks, watch the ball drop on TV and then go out to the backyard to get the dogs who were barking wildly at the fireworks.

The last decade brought such profound changes to our lives. Annie was born in 2001, Bethany in 2002 and Jack in 2003, all long before we started on our journeys to adopt them. It seems like somehow we should have known that such momentous events were taking place on the other side of the world. But it wasn't until 2005 that we took the first steps that, a little over three years later, would turn five people, biologically unrelated and born thousands of miles apart, into a family.

Today we were at lunch and Annie took a break from playing (thank goodness for McD's Playplace on rainy days) to ask me "Mommy, do you miss my childood?" Although I explained to her that at eight years old, she is still a child, I realized anew how much she has changed in 4 years, how much her brother and sister have changed too and how different my life is. The house is a perpetual pigsty, my only alone time is the drive between work and school and there have been many moments when I have seriously questioned if we took on too much in many ways. But I wouldn't change it for anything (well, except for the pigsty part).

2009 was a hard year for so many people. It doesn't seem like 2010 is starting out too much better but there are always hope, prayers and love. In the meantime, I will continue to be thankful for all our blessings.

The White Stuff is back....

So we had a very nice Christmas. For once, Charlie was off work on Christmas and Christmas Eve and I actually had a couple of days of vacation (all our time off in the last few years has gone to trips to China, so the just-because days off have been few and far between). Wednesday we took the kids to see the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie (surprisingly cute) and Thursday we did the traditional Christmas Eve at my parents' house. The kids were up early Friday am and we spent the next two days hanging around the house, playing games and just enjoying family time. We did get a Wii this year and it's darned fun. We don't have other video games (except Leapsters which are fun, but educational) and the best part about the Wii is that you have to be active to play the games. Also, I can do much better at Wii bowling than in real life. A few Christmas pictures are posted above.

It's been cold and clear for the last two days. This afternoon it was supposed to start raining. I came out of a meeting in a windowless conference room to find out that it had been snowing for an hour. I left downtown around 4:30 and made it to the kids' daycare at 6:10 - a distance of 5 miles. And when I got there, no kids. They had a field trip to go swimming today and were somewhere on a bus between another school and ours. They didn't get there until after 6:30 (the daycare closes at 6:00) and then we had harrowing drive home in about 3 inches of snow. The problem with this area is that everyone (including myself) panics at the first sighting of flakes. Most major roads were completely clogged and there were accidents everywhere. Charlie works about 20 miles from our house and spent a couple of hours at my sister's house which is nearby and is now on the way home. It's supposed to warm up overnight and be gone in the morning--please, please, please let that happen, because if daycare is closed, I can't go to work and I have a zillion things to do before Friday! Snow days are not so fun when you are an adult....although last years' 17 inches, which closed our office, was a real treat.

The outdoor pictures are from a very cold visit to the park on Sunday. It was gorgeous out but with the wind, somewhere in the the twenties and not too conducive to running around the plaground.

Merry Christmas

This song, by Third Day, was written about adopting from China, but the words apply to families who are apart all over the world. I am thankful this Christmas that we are all together. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Career Goals

Annie (dressed in pjs with a blanket tied as a cape): "Look Mommy! We're LAWYERS!!!!"

Mommy: "Wow, Lawyers! What do Lawyers do?"

Annie (long pause): I don't know. No one knows. Bethany, let's be Queens instead!!"

A letter from my daughter

I found this in Annie's backpack today:

Dear Mom and Dad - Thank you for everything. Thank you for working so hard for money and houses, toys, TV, everything. You are the best Mom and Dad ever. We love you so much. We miss you when we are apart. But we still think about each other.

Today was great. You do stuff for each other. You are the only parents that I am going to have forever. We are going to have a good Merry Christmas. We are going to give each other presents. We love each other. I wrote this for you to tell you how much I love you. You Rock. We painted and I did not get any paint on my clothes.

Love, Annie

Been a while

I almost always include pictures when I post, but at Thanksgiving there was an incident involving my beloved camera and my beloved son that resulted in the camera flying across the room. So no camera and no updated pictures. We did order another one and it should be here next week as my early Christmas present.

Nothing much new, had a really nice Thanksgiving, at the beach for a few days with our friends and did the usual small town Christmas fesitivies. The new pictures are from the Santa that we visited in Long Beach. Every year Mrs. Claus does a magic show for the kids, then they get to have their pictures taken with Santa. This year Santa was a little cranky at first but then he went off down the street for a bit and came back seeming happier. I suspect there was some liquid refreshment involved--he seemed to be able to cope with screaming children much better.

This year Bethany was very brave and actually managed to sit with Santa all by herself! That Sunday we went to my parents for a huge dinner. Charlie had been putting up lights and decorations on and off since Halloween and got to light them up when we got back from the beach - it looks great. Best house on the street.

Today we are going to go get our tree and get it up and decorated. It's been extremely cold here (new record low of 12 degrees one day this week) and today we were supposed to get a little snow or freezing rain. Luckily the temps are just above freezing so we have a little light misty rain and nothing else.

Off to tree shopping

One year ago yesterday....

Charlie, Annie, Bethany and I were in Hefei, China. We had flown into Shanghai a few days earlier, to acclimate to the time change and do a little sight-seeing. Then we took the high speed train and after an amazing trip of just a few hours, we were in Hefei.

The next morning we were supposed to meet our guide to do some paperwork. Instead, she called early and said we were going to be going to the Civil Affairs office right away to meet our new son, Lu Chun Ke.

In 2006, when we started on our second adoption, our agency had a list of children to be adopted. One little boy caught my eye. He was 3 years old and had a special need that seemed scary, a congenital heart problem. Because we were already in the midst of an adoption, I just kept an eye on him and was very glad to see him disappear off the list, as that meant he'd been matched to a family.

A few weeks after we came home with Bethany in June 2007, this little boy re-appeared on the list. It turned out that the family he was matched with could not proceed. There were new pictures of him and he was such a handsome little guy. I kept thinking about him and mentioned him to Charlie, who was (rightly so) very reluctant to think about another adoption after doing 2 of them in 2 years. Still, at our agency's summer picnic, I said something to the agency director and the next thing I knew, I was getting pictures and medical reports emailed to me.

A few weeks later, we sent a Letter of Intent to Adopt to China and very soon received Pre-Approval to adopt the little boy. We hadn't said anything to our friends and family and they (rightly so) also had concerns. But they were soon won over by pictures and information about Ke and by our joy at adding a son to the family.

Agency rules required us to wait a year before sending in our dossier of paperwork. During the wait we were blessed to receive many pictures of Jack from families visiting his orphanage. We even had a had a little video of him looking at a photo album we'd sent and saying "Mama, Baba."

By September 2008, we had our final approval and began to make plans to return to China. Amazingly, the day we were to meet Jack was exactly 3 years and 1 day after we'd met Annie.

When we walked into the Civil Affairs office that day, a shy little boy was sitting at a long table working on a puzzle. He looked up at us but could not meet our eyes, though he clearly recognized all of us. This province had a very fast process and just a few minutes later we were in the van going back to the hotel. Jack was almost instantly comfortable with his new sisters. He really started warming up to us later that day when we went to a little toy shop and bought him a set of Ultraman figures, his absolute favorite thing in the world. By the next morning, several Ultraman limbs were detached and spread around the room, but he loved them anyway. That night, he cuddled up with Annie and Bethany under a fluffy down comforter and fell deeply asleep.

By the time we came home, it seemed like he'd always been in the family. He started kindergarten a few weeks later and his caring teacher and classmates helped him learn English and how to curb some of his energy to behave well in the classroom. This year he is in kindergarten again because he had only a few months of it last year and he has a late birthday. He is doing well and enjoys math especially.

Things that Jack loves: Spiderman. Bananas. Watermelon. Swimming. Spiderman. Riding his bikes. Spiderman. Building things. Batman. Ultraman videos. Spiderman pajamas. Food in general. His sisters (most of the time). And Spiderman. He's very, very energetic and sometimes gets a little out of control and has to have the dreaded time out. We tease him because he screams like a girl. He has sometimes let his sisters dress him up (one memorable time in a pink tutu) but has lately been resisting all things even slightly girly. He was amazed by the concepts of birthdays, Christmas and Halloween, but embraced them immediately and whole-heartedly. He is more reserved than the girls but still loves to be hugged. He leaves a trail of things behind him at all times and it takes many, many reminders to get him to pick things up. He loves it when his Daddy reads him a story before he goes to sleep.

He's gained 10 pounds since he came home and has grown about 5 inches. He's famous at his school for being able to eat more school lunch than the 7th grade boys. He's patiently (kind of)endured testing to check on his heart condition and to try to figure out what's going on with his knees. He doesn't let any of that get him down. He never complains when walking is harder for him. His bravery will be such a help when he has to undergo surgery and other treatment down the road.

He is the final piece of our family and makes us complete.

How lucky am I that I get to post two messages like this in the very same week?

Four years ago today, Charlie and I were sitting in a government office in Guangzhou, China filing out piles of paperwork. A few minutes later, seven months of waiting, hoping and dreaming would end when we met a 4 year old girl named QiuQiu for the very first time. We had spent hours pouring over her pictures, wondering what, if anything, she knew about us and praying that we could figure out how to actually be parents. While signing the forms, I heard some giggling. I asked our guide what it was, and she told us it was our daughter. At that instant I looked up and saw a tiny black-haired girl in the doorway. Our eyes connected for just a second. In that instant, I became a mother, for the first time and forever.

Annie was a little scared when we first met her, but was quickly distracted by some rice crackers and the small toys we'd brought. She fell asleep in the van and all seemed peaceful. Then we made the mistake of waking her up when we arrived at the hotel. She instantly started screaming and wailing and didn't stop for hours. Luckily our guide, Kathy, was very experienced and helped us get her to the room. Kathy sat with us while Annie cried and cried for her nanny and for everything she'd ever known. She would not look at Charlie or I or allow us to feed her. She did manage to go through all the clothes we brought and laid claim to the Hello Kitty backpack.

Eventually she figured out there was a door to the room and tried to escape. She became so agitated we decided to let her go out of the roomwith us. She grabbed the backpack, marched out the door and thus began The Walk. The hallways of our hotel made a big square and the three of us walked around and around and around and around. Annie made it clear that I was supposed to walk next to her and Charlie a few paces behind. At first she carried her backpack, but soon passed it off to Charlie (though she glanced back often to make sure he still had it). At every corner she looked for her nanny. It was heart-breaking. She became so tired she could barely lift her feet but she was determined to continue. Finally, a couple of hours into The Walk, she gave in and laid down to sleep.

The next morning she was like a different child, happy and smiling and calling Charlie Baba. Calling me Mama took a few more days.

In the last four years, Annie has been through so many new experiences. She met her extended family at the airport with a shy smile and has become close to her cousins. She started preschool within a few weeks of coming home and has excelled in school ever since. She's had two surgeries to separate her fingers and remove banding from her leg. Her hair has grown to reach all the way down her back. She's grown more than a foot and gained almost 20 pounds. And she has returned to China twice, to become a big sister to Bethany and then Jack.

In some ways, Annie is a typical 8 year. She loves Hannah Montana and giggles with her best friends. She enjoys school but doesn't always want to go. Her favorite foods are Hot and Sour soup and mashed potatoes and gravy. She has a distinct fashion sense and will refuse to wear anything that is "not my style, Mom!!"
She is loving and affectionate to friends and family and, most of time, to her brother and sister. She's been known to be very sassy and extremely cranky especially when she is tired, but she consistently gets awards from school for her behavior. She has beautiful handwriting and does amazing graphic designs. She is incredibly bossy to her siblings and prefers it when they follow her every order. She stands up for the underdog and protects her little sister and brother. One of her favorite TV shows is "Clean House" but she leaves a trail of clothes and papers behind her at home. She learned how to swim this year and would do it every day if she could She loves to ride her bike and swing on the monkey bars. She loves Coat, her security blanket, protector against bad dreams and friend forever. She has definite opinions about most things and chose the colors and design for this slideshow.

But Annie's history will always be different from most American children. When she first came home, she was not at all interested in hearing or learning about China. In the last year she has begun to talk more about it and is thinking she might want to take Chinese lessons sometime soon. She has become more curious about her birth family and has started to ask some questions that we don't have the real answers for.

She knows absolutely that we are her forever family. She loves to curl up on my lap and talk about how she waited and waited for her forever Mommy and Daddy to find her and bring her home. We look at pictures of her in her orphanage, of the day we met her and dozens of photos taken over the last four years. In a few months, she will have lived here longer than she lived in China. I often think of her birth parents and how they must wonder where she is and how she is and if she is safe and happy. I wish somehow they could know what a brave, beautiful and amazing person she is and how well she is loved and will be loved forever.

Five years ago at Halloween....

Five years ago at Halloween, Charlie and I were a family of two. We'd been married for a few years and had talked about adopting, but never done anything about it. I don't remember what we did that year, but most likely Charlie worked and I handed out candy. Little did we know that four months later, we would be filling out applications and starting a journey that would bring us more joy than we ever thought possible.

Four years ago at Halloween, Annie was four years old and in Shantou, China, a little over a week away from meeting us. We have a picture of her from the orphanage taken that same week and she had a little kitty mask on, so they must have done some kind of celebration. Overwhelmed with the reality of finally becoming a mother in just a matter of days, I have no memory at all of Halloween that year. A few days later, we flew to China, and a tiny, black-haired girl was brought to meet us. In the moment we first saw each other, a new family was born.

Three years ago at Halloween, Annie was an only child. For her first American Halloween, she chose a beautiful princess costume. Though the temperature was below freezing, she refused to wear her coat because she wanted everyone to see her gorgeous gown. She made it to just a few houses before the crowds of other kids, darkness and some wildly animated decorations scared her into wanting the warmth and comfort of home. In Guangzhou, Bethany had just turned four and was seven months away from meeting us. We don't know how she spent the day, but it was probably just the regular orphanage routine for her. She would have had no inkling that her life was soon going to change forever.

Two years ago at Halloween, we were a family of four and there were two beautiful little princesses. Together, they braved the cold and the other kids running wildly around the neighborhood. But it didn't take long before a giant green blow up monster on the neighbor's porch proved to be just a little too scary, and we cut trick or treating short to go home and give out candy. Jack was four years old and in an orphanage in Hefei. We knew that year that we would be adopting him, but we were still a long way from bringing him home.

Last year at Halloween, we were packing to return to China for Jack. The girls were a princess and a glittery witch and they spent a little more time trick or treating and a lot more time counting out their haul. A week later we were on a plane to Shanghai and three days after that, we walked into a government office and a shy little boy met his forever family for the first time.

This year at Halloween, we visited our favorite pumpkin patch and posed for our now-traditional pictures. Then Spiderman, a Princess and Hannah Montana went out trick or treating together. We found the Spiderman costume online and I wish my camera had been handy when Jack saw it for the first time. Even though he had wanted to be Spiderman from the moment he heard about Halloween, I don't think he truly believed it was possible until the costume showed up at our door. We put it away for a couple of weeks, but several times I found him standing in front of the closet, stroking the shiny red and blue fabric.

This year at Halloween Annie was invited to a party. For the first time, she wanted to stay at an event by herself and she did, for more than two hours, without even one phone call to us. I was proud of her, but a little sad too, since at eight years old, she is starting to show more independence. After dropping Annie off, we took Jack and Bethany around the neighborhood. At every house, after candy was dropped in their buckets, they asked for another treat for their sister. Daddy's pockets were stuffed with enough Snickers and Tootsie Rolls and Skittles to fill Annie's bucket when she got home. When we went back to our house, Jack and Bethany set up chairs at the front door so they could hand out candy. It was late and we didn't get many visitors, but every time someone came through our front gate, Jack yelled out a cheery "Trick or Treat" and they both thanked every person for coming.

While we were out trick or treating, Jack said over and over "This is the funnest Halloween ever!!!" Later he grew quiet and finally turned to me and asked "Mommy, will there ever be another Halloween?" "Yes," I said. "There will be another Halloween next year and the year after that, and every year after that." He was speechless for a moment and tears came to his eyes. He said "Oh Mommy, thank you! You are the best Mommy ever for giving me Halloween."

Next year at Halloween, Jack will have outgrown his beloved Spiderman costume, but not his obsession with Superheroes. Maybe he will be Batman this time. The girls will wait until the last minute to decide, but whatever they wear, there will likely be glitter and sparkly clothing involved. Hopefully, all three children will be secure in their knowledge that good things should happen and will continue to happen for them. We will go to the pumpkin patch, carve pumpkins and walk around our neighborhood, just like millions of other families. For us, it will be yet another milestone along the journey that turned five people, from opposite sides of the world, into a family forever.

Bethany Ballerina

Bethany loves to dance. We discovered this the first night with her in China when she twirled around the hotel room to music on a DVD. She took a beginning dance class the first year she was home, but somehow the logistics never worked out for class last year.

This year, my parents gave us a wonderful gift for all our birthdays - a membership to a local community center/gym that has some basic dance classes. So Bethany is in Tap/Ballet and loves it. I wish I could find the words to truly convey the look of pure joy on her face when she dances.

So here's a picture of Miss B at dance class, along with a couple of random photos from the last week or so

Testify to Love

This is one of my favorite songs ever - it's so uplifting. As I was looking through youtube videos to find a version to post, I played it about 10 times and Jack and Bethany danced around the living room to the music with the happiest grins on their faces...

Family Birthday Adventure Weekend #2

Bethany turned 7 on Oct 5. We had a little family party that day and will have another get together next week but like the other two, she chose a weekend away as her main birthday celebration. So we spent the weekend in Bend, in Central Oregon. We found a great place on the internet to stay. Our room overlooked the river and we had a nice fireplace. Of course a swimming pool was a necessity and the kids spent a lot of time there. They have advanced to floating and to putting their faces in the pool and are so proud!

On Saturday we met up with a family who adopted a little girl from China using the same agency we did. I had met them previously at a picnic but this was the first time we'd spent time with them. Their kids are 7, 6 and 3 and they are adopting an adorable little boy who turned 2 on Bethany's birthday. The kids really hit it off- they came to the hotel and swam for a while, then after lunch we visited a pumpkin patch. Everyone went on a hay ride through a "Scary Fun Barn," and they did a couple crafty-type things. The family was nice enough to invite us over to their house for dinner and the hardest part of the day was getting our kids to leave.

Bend is a beautiful town, surrounded by mountains that you can see from just about anywhere. We were there in between the summer hiking, rafting, etc season and the winter ski season. The weather was gorgeous, a bit cold which made us enjoy the fireplace even more. Definitely a place we will come back to.

Swine flu, H1N1 or whatever

So it's most likely hit our house, just me (so far). I say "most likely" because that's what my doctor was pretty sure it was, but they don't actually test for it unless you are hospitalized or very ill. So I guess I can live with the uncertainty. I have to say it seems a lot like regular flu but just stronger symptoms and longer-lived. And you not only get the respiratory stuff, but also the gastro stuff all at the same time. I've been off work for a week which it's extremely annoying as it's a very busy time there and lots going on with the kids at this time of the year too. So far, so good with the rest of the family but I am not holding my breath.

It was kind of a good thing that I was home, though, the other day, as the phone rang and it was the after school day care. I knew it couldn't be anything good and was a little woozy from the cough syrup with codeine. I picked up the phone and barked "Who got hurt!!!!????" It was Bethany. The kids were playing some kind of running game on the playgroud, Jack grabbed her dress trying to get ahead and she fell and sliced open her forehead. Mommy adrenaline kicked in and cleared out my brain and I rushed her to Urgent Care (where they made me wear a facemask due to the flu stuff) and they said she would need stitches. Charlie came right from work also and took the other two kids and the doctor and I dealt with a poor terrified little girl. She had a couple of surgeries on her hands before she was adopted and she has shared that they were very scary and painful for her so she's even more scared than normal about medical treatment. When they were explaining to her what they were going to do, she kept repeating "Oh My God, you've GOT to be kidding!!!!" We did have to wrap her up for the stitches but after all was said and done she was a very brave girl. Even though she said she wanted to go home, immediately go back to China and trade Jack in for another brother, she still made sure to get him a sticker and a sucker when she was offered them at the clinic.

Her major disappointment though she can't go to the first swimming lesson tonight since she can't get her head wet. My parents were nice enough to give us a membership to a local community center for all our birthdays (they are all within a 2month time period). This included swimming lessons for the kids and Bethany will also start ballet/tap this Saturday (Annie has NO interest in dance classes). Bethany is somewhat comforted by the fact they are shopping for tap and ballet shoes after swimming tonight.

I am glad the kids are starting some outside activities, but sad in a way too. We have deliberately held back on most organized activities for a couple of reasons- one, we don't want to get over-committed on the weekends and two, we wanted to really settle in as a family before we did a lot of outside stuff. Our Family Days will be different now, but they will still be good I guess.

Off to have some more of that cough syrup and hopefully some sleep.

September so far

Bethany and Annie started school the day after Labor Day and because our district starts Kindergarten later, Jack, started last Thursday. So far so good. Everyone is settling in and getng to know their new teachers. We did find out that Bethany has some hearing loss in one ear. We had kind of suspected that already and have now asked for further testing to really pin it down. She has already started speech therapy and is working really hard at it!

Today we all participated in a walk to raise money for Pancreatic Cancer, the disease that took the life of our friend, Mike. It was held in a beautiful state park south of here and it was a wonderful walk in the woods. Charlie and Annie made it the full 2 1/2 miles. Jack and Bethany weren't really into that long of a walk but we went part way down the trails a couple of times and they probably did a mile or more. Personally, I find clowns to be kind of disturbing, but the kids had a lot of fun with the two that were there.

This was a very well-organized event with lots of families. We were part of Team Mike and had an amazing 38 people on our team. This disease has a very, very low cure rate and the fund-raising will go towards research to develop screening tests to catch it earlier.